I pray for a dream; something to live for

I am a wreck.

When I die, and meet my Lord, and He asks me “Friend, what have you done with your life?”, am I going to let my answer be “I lay about in bed, played video games and searched the Internet for pictures that pleased me. But I prayed once in a while.” And when He says “Have you fed My lambs?”, am I going to answer “I buy the odd multipack of Diet Coke and cookies for my flatmate”? When He looks deep into my heart and sees the evil and selfishness I’ve nurtured over years and says “How could you be on your knees day after day, saying you loved Me, and let this wickedness consume your heart?”, how on earth am I to contradict Him?

And should He ask to look into my purse, am I to open it and take out to show Him the same gold coin He gave me when I was born? I don’t want to stand there and watch Him weep over the death of a beloved but damned hypocrite He had tried His almighty, omnipotent best to save. Am I really so ignorant and stupid as to lie in my corner, lazy and useless, while Satan laughs and dusts my cell? Am I going to walk about with eyes that do not see and ears that do not hear and hands that do not do anything, like my ancestors the Pharisees? Have I learned nothing from the teachings of Jesus? After all this time, do I still not know Him?

I pray for…hope

Lord, I have been losing sight of You lately. I’ve spent too much time getting wrapped up in my own thoughts, fears and emotions. I forget that I am not the centre of the universe. So, I pray You, give me hope. Be thou my vision. Help me to see the future of my heart’s desire – eternal life in Heaven with You, that wonderful state where I may be complete, fulfilled, a true reflection of You. Give me hope that my thoughts and actions may always be turned to You and whatever plans and designs You have for me. Give me cheerfulness, give me Yourself, my Rock, give me a sense of purpose that I may see the world as Your beautiful creation and not as a depressing, vast chasm of confusion and bewilderment. Hold me close to You that I may not fall into despair, temptation, ingratitude, anxiety or selfishness. Be always by me to re-light my hopeless little candle.

I pray for…a confirmation saint

Dear Lord,

You have so many friends that it can be difficult to find a special one to adopt as a personal friend in Heaven.

So far I like the sound of:

• St Therese of Lisieux
• St Catherine of Siena
• St Thomas More
• St Teresa of Avila

Not to mention the other ones I know of but whose names I’ve completely forgotten…

At the moment I am thinking about St Therese of Lisieux. I was a bit annoyed with her a week or so ago because I completely misunderstood something she said and as a result upset somebody, but that was really my fault. And then there’s her being pictured with roses a lot and I kept thinking to myself “I don’t like roses very much” and so she was out before I’d even read anything.

I can be very shallow about things like that. Especially when it comes to priests’ hair, church decorating and icons. When I first set out looking for a confirmation saint, I wanted him or her to be perfect. You would not think that this would be difficult in a saint, but in the end it was. My standards can be harsher than those of the Almighty.

Quotation Card: “I will spend my heaven doing good on earth.” – St Therese of Lisieux

Bless This House Calendar: St Matthew, apostle

“He was a tax collector. Perhaps you should have him. He could help us with our finances.”

Even I do not think of things like that…

I pray for…health

Father, I seem to be feeling sick a lot these days. I feel sick in the car if I have not eaten. I feel sick due to skipping meals because sometimes things seem too chaotic to eat or sometimes I forget. Ah well, at least I’m not (at the moment) the terrible glutton who could eat a whole packet of Aero in one go. I feel vaguely sick as I type. I pray that I will stop feeling sick and stop depriving my body of food for whatever reason.

Quotation Card: “You do not really think that when a stone is let go, it suddenly remembers that it is under orders to fall to the ground.” – Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis

Bless This House Calendar: Ireland, St Ailbe

Saint of the Day: Most Holy Name of the Blessed Virgin Mary

St Joseph’s JiF people, I hope Mary told you about my blog. It would be brilliant to hear from some of you. x

I pray for…help with being a better person

Following today’s wisdom from the Bible Diary, I think I need to be less hypocritical myself.

Lord, help me to be a better person. Help me to be more like You. Lend me Your Spirit, and I will do my best to be corrected in all that I am and all that I do. I do not know where I am going. I do not know what I want half the time. Help me to focus on You, my Father, my Friend, my Lord, and to keep You in mind as I go about my daily activities. Let me have You as my one and only role model, my one and only truth and my one and only Master. Amen.     – thepinkjedi

Bless This House Calendar: England – Blessed Dominic

Quotation Card: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites!” – Matthew 23:27

I pray for…help with managing money

The Pink Jedi arose at 4:30am this morning.

Bless This House Calendar: St Louis, St Joseph Calasanz.

Dearest Father, I come to you worrying. I shouldn’t trust myself to go out. I keep buying things.

New journals obtained: 1 and 1/2

Quotation Card: “Daylight like a sacrament in my hands.” – George Campbell (b. 1916), Jamaica